I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
