You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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