im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I am spending my child support on dildos
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
