Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
