It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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