Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
