Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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