in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
why is half of my head shaved?
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