he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
