Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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