It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
