i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
