I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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