Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
