Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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