a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
