I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
