What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
