He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
