I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
