HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hippo gnu deer
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
