She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
