I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
