no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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