I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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