Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize