Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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