i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
