giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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