You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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