Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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