I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
