im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
