Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
