Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
