He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
