Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
