with your own penis?
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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