ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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