bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
false alarm, still single
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
