i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
