AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
