I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
