I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize