I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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