the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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