They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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