Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
