Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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