Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
