just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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