I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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