i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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