Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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