I just saw a hot homeless man
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
