Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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