My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
