his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
