That's intense
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
