You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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